1. "I do not joke about nutrition."

    Ernie B.
  2. "You are really well known over here. Almost in a creepy way."

  3. "You do have good insurance. I pay a lot less, but my insurance only covers getting my head reattached if it gets knocked off, and I’m not sure they’d put it on the right way."

    Craig P.
  4. "I haven’t drank in a long time. I like the way it feels."

    Alexis R.
  5. "Squirrels are really disrespectful."

    Alexis R.
  6. "Hawks are really exotic birds."

    Phylesha H.
    • Me: Oh My God!
    • Craig: What?
    • Me: It looks like a bottle of mustard just exploded all over you.
  7. "More flutter, less flapping."

  8. Wiggle

    • Me: It sounded like you fell out of your chair.
    • Degan: No, I just wiggle alot.
  9. "That stuff makes me walk funny."

  10. "I might be a little hung over from last nights Karaoke."

    Christina B.
    3
  11. "I’ve got to check that pizza box to make sure those were portobello mushrooms instead of the mushrooms that come from the enchanted forest."

  12. The Purple Princess!

    • Me: Can you be a non-purple princess?
    • Degan: No.. I'm want to be a purple princess!
  13. Dallas

    • Me: "Y'all are too young to remember the original Dallas, y'all weren't even born, but the new Dallas is pretty good."
    • Phylesha: "I havent' seen the new one, but I think Robbie's Grandma watches that show."
    • Me: "OK.. now I feel really old."
  14. "Smell Your Legs!"

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